Inbox (Synflux)

[curingidiocy]

Dr. Ratio

"There's no rush."

Dr. Ratio

Greetings, I am Veritas Ratio.

Dr. Ratio

Knowledge should flow freely between people, and the same fate should befall truth. You can ask me about technical problems at any moment, and I shall do my utmost to give you a reply.

Dr. Ratio

But before you ask, remember to establish best practices for intense self-rumination, and remember that time is precious for everyone, as for me, so for you.

Dr. Ratio

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Comments

[the_fourteenth]

[Ouch. He looks away again, frowning slightly.]

... No.

I never wanted things to get so-- so bad.

[There's no other way to put it than "bad". Continuing to try and dodge the matter is only going to make things worse.]

I just want to help others. A-And I know, if I push myself too far, I won't be in any shape to help anyone. I've heard it before.

[Spoken in an exasperated, exhausted way, not bitter.]

I just-- can't fix it overnight. I know it might not seem like it, but I am trying.

[curingidiocy]

Assaulting me is the very opposite of helping.

[ Said drily, but not accusingly. What Ratio wants to point out is that Raidou's desperation and overexertion is doing harm, not doing nothing. He isn't helping, he's making things worse. This isn't a net zero gain, this is a negative. ]

Are you going to keep telling yourself that you're trying when you aren't?

[ If he was truly trying, he would set aside his pride and ask for help. He would stop worrying about what others think, and focus on finding the best way to achieve the goal he desires. ]

[the_fourteenth]

[Raidou can't help but feel that one as another barb, though. And before he can even think of what to say, Ratio's other comment makes his head snap right back up to him, a puzzled look that's a little hurt, too.]

What do you-- I am trying, it's--

[He doesn't know what to say. More breaks, stop overexerting yourself, that's what everyone keep saying, right? He actually has been taking more breaks, getting others to help with the work in Okinawa so he has less on his plate. Baby steps, but steps nonetheless.

There isn't a lot of fight in those words, though, like there might have been in the past if accused of this again. He's trying, but he's tired, he's in need of help that he doesn't know he needs. That makes it even harder to ask for when you already have a pile of pride in the way.

Shoulders tense, he rubs a hand down his face. Thinking of how to put his words together. If he's not doing enough now, is anything going to be enough?]

I refuse to quit. But I don't want things like that happening again. I will fix it, or I will no longer be fit to be an Outsider. I-I won't fail this as I have a summoner.

[There's resolve in his voice, but it wavers as he goes on.]

[curingidiocy]

[ It's what everyone has been saying, Ratio included, but it's clear that it's not working. That Raidou hasn't really considered what's truly being asked of him when people tell him to rest. He hasn't thought things through. Hasn't thought about why he's struggling, and why others aren't. He doesn't yet know how to shoulder the burden he's been given here. He can't even confidently announce his intentions.

What the young man needs is for his mind to be cleansed of distracting thoughts. ]

Have you used the public baths in the spa? I invite you to join me for a soak.

[ The tone of his voice indicates that he means right now, but it isn't a command. It's just an invitation, but there's clearly a reason the scholar has brought this up out of the blue. ]

[the_fourteenth]

[The swerve in conversation earns Ratio another slightly puzzled look.]

Ah... a couple of times.

[It's a nice facility, but he has different priorities.]

... When I have the time, we go to the onsen outside of town. Or I go just visit the cats.

[Admitted a little sheepishly.]

[curingidiocy]

[ Ratio stands abruptly, taking a few steps forward before turning to face Raidou. ]

Come. Let us cleanse our minds and bodies of the filth that persists.

[ This time it is said in a commanding tone, but it is just soft enough to give Raidou room to reject the invitation now that it's been made clearly. ]