curingidiocy | Inbox (Synflux)

[ Yuji sends Ratio a message that covers his education up to now - basic, middle school level Japanese education, including sciences, mathematics, Japanese literature, some English, a little bit of the arts and various other things. He highlights that he is very keen to learn more about biology, because it matches his powers!! But anything Ratio-sensei wants to do with him would be fine, and he's appreciative... ]

[ As Yuji warned, the message was a day late. He would scold the boy, but as he'd said before, he was only sixteen. A mere child. Ratio has never taught a high schooler. Never even tutored one, for he had been studying far above undergraduate level by the time he was in his first year of high school.

Children are more delicate than adults, so he decides it's worth adopting a softer tone when handling Yuji. ]

Thank you for sending the list. While not prompt, I shall hold my tongue this time. In the future I expect you to meet due dates properly.

I will be able to teach you mathematics and the sciences, but the other subjects require contextual knowledge of your world that I lack. That being said, certain subjects can be taught using this planet as the shared frame of reference, such as economics or geography.

It will take me a few days to prepare some diagnostic tests that will allow me to assess exactly how much you know.

[ That last little bit about biology being related to his abilities piques Ratio's interest. ]

What are these 'powers' you speak of?

i’ll do my best to be on time next time, ratio-sensei, sorry!!

anything is fine, it’s been months since i was actually in school so it’s probably a good idea that something is done, right? grandpa would like me to graduate high school even if i don’t make it to university or whatever. the bare minimum for someone like me!!

sorry for causing you a lot of work, though. it’s super nice of you to offer especially since you seem like you’re new to this world

[ +30 affection from Yuji Itadori. He really cannot help himself when it comes to mentor figures, so he’s prepared to throw himself into this as much as he can. He does have free time to study, so… He’ll try.

Yuji, scraping into being sixteen years old, is desperate for approval, even if it comes from academics that he’s poor at. He thrives on it!

As for his powers… ]

i can heal myself and manipulate blood, but i think i could be better at it if I understood more about the body?
i’ve got cursed energy too which is like negative emotions turned into PWAAH punching force

I agree with your grandfather. At your level, formal education provides the basic foundation of knowledge you need to navigate the world. Post-secondary education is a pursuit I recommend only to those who have carefully considered both its benefits and challenges. Not all are suited towards the scholarly pursuit, but that is not something to be ashamed of. There are many methods to obtain knowledge, not all of which involve the rigid structure of academia.

Do not apologize. Were I not interested, I would not offer my services. I have chosen to take this task voluntarily.

[ Yes, he's new to the planet, but to teaching, he's not. This is just one way of grounding himself, because otherwise he would find himself listless as he encounters barrier after barrier in his pursuit of information about this planet. Yuji is doing him a favour, in truth. ]

I see. Knowledge of biology would indeed be an asset to your abilities. I will be sure to include a focus on blood and the circulatory system in your study plan.

i've got time for this kind of thing here, but back home there's no way i've got any kind of chance of graduating high school, sorry, that's just sort of how it is
it would be nice to do some work with it here, though, and i'm willing to do what it takes to put my best foot forward or whatever

it's still nice of you. let me repay you, ok? one day

all that would be really helpful, because my brother has tried to teach me but he's just like "feel it" and "imagine your veins" and stuff and it's wayyyy too hard for me

[ He hasn't said this in a long time, but— ]

If you would like to repay me, then teach me something I do not already know. It does not have to be academic in nature. I have accepted magic tricks, grass whistling and skipping stones as payment in the past.

I intend on providing a visual diagram of the circulatory system, as well as exercises involving your ability to improve the association of knowledge. If even that should not work, we will simply use another method. So long as you are willing, you will learn under my tutelage.

okay!! i can teach you about one of these things, or all of them?
- cursed energy
- black flash
- sukuna 🖕
- cursed techniques
- curses

just let me know!!

i want to learn, sensei, i do. i think it'll be helpful for me in the long run, and it's probably a good idea.

I leave that decision to you.

[ Learning to judge the value of what he has been given and what he wants to give is a lesson in itself too. ]

I will let you know when the diagnostic exams are ready. You will need to set aside two days to complete them, as we will be covering all the subjects I intend to teach you. Each exam will be an ninety minutes long, and you will be given a thirty minute break in between, with an hour for lunch.

You may study in advance. You may also invite any of your peers to participate, should they have an interest in studying as well. You need only inform me a day in advance.

Do you have any other questions?

Edited 2024-05-11 01:40 (UTC)

[ Oh... He's really in it now. TWO DAYS of examinations? Ninety minute long exams...? This sounds like some kind of personal torture, but he's signed up for it, and it might help, so... Maybe he'll just have to push through, or something like that... ]

i'll give it some thought

i'm sure that megumi and raidou will want to study or something, so i'll ask them and see if they want to join me. they're really smart, so i'm sure you'll like them a lot!

this is a lot of work for you, so i really appreciate it, a lot

[ Indeed, you signed up to have one of the harshest teachers of the universe teach you. But these are just diagnostic, so he doesn't have any expectations to begin with. Even if Yuji failed every exam, it would be fine, if albeit disappointing. ]

I look forward to their participation.

It is no different than my regular work. You need not concern myself.

Now go and prepare for them.

you got it, sensei! you won't be disappointed!

[ He will. ]

i didn’t actually check before but are you alive??

No, I have died and this is an automated message informing you of said occurrence. A tragedy worthy of a few tears, I assure you.

Of course I am alive. Is there something you require of me?

Edited 2024-06-10 20:31 (UTC)

i am detecting a paradox here, but surely it’s fine. and no, there is nothing i need of you at present, but i do have words of gratitude to offer if you care to hear them. read them. whichever.

Gratitude for what exactly? I wasn't aware I had done anything to warrant them.

you helped us all get back in one piece. that’s enough for me.

That is hardly worthy of praise. It is the bare minimum you should expect from me. I do not want to hear your thanks. Save it for when I accomplish something truly outstanding.

but you aren’t hearing it, are you? does the online voice talk to you too? what constitutes as outstanding?

Nor do I want to read it, or any other form of communication that you can devise in your bid to unnecessarily nitpick at my locution.

Devising a method to protect the ocular implants from attack by the sand worm, or coming up with a strategy to terminate it with no casualties, perhaps. Something that not any ordinary person could produce even if they employed every single one of their brain cells in its creation. I am no ordinary scholar—thus it should be expected that I produce the extraordinary. Any less would be a failure on my part.

[ what is a locution?? no, neo-hoogle, he does not in fact know if ratio means “location” instead. better check. ]

i don’t care where you go on the day to day??? unless it’s the onsen, in which case we should all go together.

any less, i see. you produce an extraordinary amount of words on the regular so i think you’re doing just fine.

The dictionary exists. Learn to use it, you ignoramus. And if you care not to listen to my words, then I have none for you.

but is that a “no” to the onsen or not?

I am not opposed to a visit.

[ Choso, you don't know, but it's public knowledge back home that Ratio loves baths. ]

good. when we return to tokyo i will arrange for a visit. the cats will surely enjoy more supplicants.

Dare I ask you to explain what you mean by that? Are there cats living on the premises?

a colony of feral cats call the area home. i bring supplies for the onsen owners when yuji and i go. regrettably, i have not convinced the friendly cats there to join us in the water yet.

And it is good that you haven't. That is hardly hygienic.

that’s the point of a bath, isn’t it? to get hygiene.

Hot springs are for relaxation, not cleanliness. You are not to enter the waters until after you've cleaned yourself, especially because it is a shared environment. Most hot springs meant to be enjoyed by humans are tailored to be around forty degrees Celsius, which is not enough to kill bacteria or viruses.

Feral cats can carry a wide host of diseases and parasites, a few of which are zoonotic, such as Toxoplasmosis, Toxocariasis and Bartonella henselae. Desist your attempts to invite the felines into the water.

[ dear neo-goggle and online dictionary, what is a zoonotic and what are all these interesting-looking words? ]

desist is a good word. it will be done. these things really spell a bad time for humans. alas.

Good.

[ At least this man listens, for all his ignorance. That's workable. He can teach Choso what he needs to know to do better. ]

[ Once the dust settles and the team has been properly tended to and are resting back in Vegas, Ratio gets a message from Yzak, short and sweet. ]

Thank you, for taking a look at Dearka.

Think nothing of it. I did what any with the knowledge to treat injuries should.

Still! I know you were busy dealing with your own bullshit after all that.

And, I was the one who suggested he go to you after we got out of that mess. [ So it's only polite that he takes responsibility to show his own gratefulness. ]

... Anyway. On that note, how are you doing?

[ If the conversation is going to continue, Ratio will switch to whichever format Yzak is using, audio or video. ]

You do not need to worry yourself on my account. If I could not handle it, I would have directed him to someone with the time and capacity to. If anything, you have given me the opportunity to use some skills I am out of practice with.

[ He may not have an MD, but he took it upon himself to learn some of the skills of a practicing physician and even had a short stint of volunteering in clinics and hospitals to gain that knowledge. He'd thought it be useful to understand the entire process, from researching and devising treatments and cures to how these cures were administered to people. ]

As well as one can be in these circumstances. Have you had your injuries looked at already? Even minor cuts must be treated properly to avoid the chances of an infection occurring.

[ He's on audio. It's just as well, as if he went video he'd be sporting a black eye, but thankfully nothing beyond that as he was the one breaking noses, not getting his own broken. ]

I'm glad I could help both parties in some way.

And, likewise to you that you don't need to worry yourself over me. I'm not the kind of idiot who'd send my partner to go get himself looked at without ensuring that I'm okay, too.

[ Yes, and if Ratio had seen that, he would have gotten the same earful he gave Dearka. But it is audio, and Ratio has no reason to distrust Yzak, so he accepts his words without another thought. ]

Good. But do not be afraid to call upon me should you need assistance. I will not consider it a bother.

I won't be. But I'm fine, now, and ensuring I'm in proper shape to move when we go back out after that thing.

Both of us are.

Excellent. Then I shall leave you to it.

Edited (me realizing the two ongoing threads we have going are about to cross topics--) 2024-06-29 07:30 (UTC)

[ IMAGE ATTACHMENT: +1 pic of a large grey plushie wearing a bust chilling at the beach with a makeshift coconut drink in hand. ✌️ ]

[ Read at: 1:02 PM. ]

[Taryon knows some Outsiders spend the night sharing beds. That's fine. That's understandable. He's long accepted thay any group of people undertaking stressful jobs are bound to get intimately involved. The pairings can he weird, but he gets it.

What he does appreciate is his next-door neighbor being inconsiderate of the man sleeping on the other side of the wall that hasn't been soundproofed enough. Taryon does not need to know every instance Aventurine does something to Ratio. He did not have to be able to make out a few words. That banging should not have been so noticeable.

The next morning, he waits outside the door of their room, arms crossed, until one of them steps out. He hopes it's Aventurine, he's been working in a snappy comeback about his "mating dances" all night.

...It's Ratio. Just as good. He's responsible for the actual noise.] You do know that there's a reason we have quiet hours, right? [He scowls with all of the fury that a man running on little sleep has.]

[ After the couple had started engaging in their nightly activities, he had discovered that... well, he wasn't the quietest when it came to sex. Quite the opposite, rather. And despite his attempts to control his volume, he always faltered within a few minutes, lost to the pleasure of his lover's touch.

(He had quietly hoped that perhaps his neighbours would be too embarrassed to confront them, but evidently that was not going to happen.)

Taryon catches Ratio still half-asleep, having exited his room to begin his very late morning routine (this was the third time he missed his usual 6AM workout, he had to talk to Aventurine about this...), and the scholar blinks uncomprehendingly for a second before the words click into place and he bursts into a bright red blush that goes all the way down his exposed, marked neck. ]

I-I— I apologize... for the noise.

[ Mumbled, because he is mortified. Nous, take him now, he is not going to be able to live this down. ]

[If he and Ratio were friends, then Taryon could congratulate him on getting amazing dick. As it stands, he has been kept up late haunted by the couple next door far too many times.

He couldn't be chained by embarrassment any longer.] Are you? Or is this going to happen each time your boyfriend comes over? [Taryon may not have slept around much, but he's pretty sure most guys don't shout the entire time. Something has to be up with the doctor.]

...he is staying with me for the foreseeable future.

[ Yeah Aventurine's straight up moved into Ratio's room. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT he just felt the need to make that correction. He coughs to cover up his fluster and try to recover some semblance of his usual composure. ]

I-I shall endeavor to control my- our, um, noise.

[ Nope, still flustered as hell, and too frazzled to come up with better solutions. Like installing soundproofing into the room. ]

Oh. [Taryon does not hide the disappointment in his voice.] Can't you find some sort of way to...block the noise? He - [Aventurine. Although Ratio calls him Kakavasha in bed, so who knows what that nickname means.] - doesn't seem to have as much of an issue.

[He is not thinking about how kinky his suggestion could come across. Gagging Ratio with a cloth? Sure, he doesn't care, he needs to toss out every idea in his addled brain.]

I just...I just really want to sleep for once. [He drops his head into his hand, and his hair falls over his face.]

( Unluckily for everyone except, perhaps, Aventurine, it's around that time that he ambles out of Ratio's room. His hair is a mess, still dressed in the lounge clothes given by LILITH and clearly on his way to the showers (with a basket full of various potions and tonics for skin, hair, and Aeons knows what else). He looks like a man who has spent better part of the evening not sleeping -- which is why he only notices Taryon when he suggests keeping Ratio quiet.

He can't help it, a grin spreads across his face as he peers up and around Veritas. )

Hear that, doc? Sounds like we need to find you a gag -- I'm sure there's a shop around here that sells that sort of stuff. ( His eyes, as sharp as the rest of him is fuzzy and sleepy, go to Taryon. Aventurine doesn't feel shame -- he trained himself out of that particular emotion long ago, as a child. But he does understand the value of beauty sleep, and therefore manages to be a little sympathetic. ) Ah. My apologies. We've only recently become intimate after a while of horrible, terrible pining and have been... enthusiastic about celebrating the fact.

( He's making no promises about it ever tapering off, however. )

Edited 2024-07-11 19:23 (UTC)

[ a what. ]

[ People gag their partners during sex?? Not that that is particularly depraved but the thought never crossed his mind—why would anyone want to muffle the sounds their partner makes? Aside from trying not to disturb their neighbour, as is the case right now...

But putting that aside, the way Aventurine describes their relationship is... accurate, but hearing it stated aloud is embarrassing, somehow. He can't get redder than he already is though, so he just averts his eyes and crosses his arms. ]

...I will devise soundproofing to be installed in our room.

[Taryon realizes too late what he has wrought, and he fears that the sort of stuff he's only read about will happen on the other side of the wall. When he looks up again, he sees the shameless Aventurine on his way to the showers as if he were not guilty of anything. Taryon's frustration at the two men is too great that he can't even think of asking what tonics he's using, and if he could borrow some.

He can't even feel a twang of sympathy for these two finally consummating their love. Not when they make it everyone's business.] No! That's not-- Please, I don't want to know what you're doing, I just- [A sigh.] If you need help adding soundproofing, I know a bit about that.

[Does he trust these two to install enough and install it correctly? Probably not, maybe they'll get distracted in the middle of their work.]

( Are the expectations for them so low? He's probably correct that some distraction was bound to happen if it involves Ratio showing off his bare arms because Aventurine is a simple man with simple pleasures that would also include sharing his wealth of beauty products should Taryon ask.

Still, Ratio's flustered face and Taryon's distress at the idea of knowing what he and the other man are getting up has Aventurine laugh -- a sound that only Ratio will recognize as being genuine in his amusement. )

You do? ( A brow raises, and Aventurine leans into Ratio's side. ) Well, I can't say that the help wouldn't be appreciated -- I'm not a physical labor sort of man.

[ Ratio is loathe to allow Taryon in his room, not because he has anything to hide, but simply because he is a private man and does not prefer others encroaching on his personal space. He frowns, mind already at work engineering a soundproof system that could be created with the materials available on this planet. ]

Your assistance is unnecessary.

[ The biting tone would be so much more intimidating if the evidence of yesterday night's activities weren't so obvious on him. ]

[Taryon looks between both men and does not like the look Aventurine is giving him. That messy hair does not sell any sense of trustworthiness, and Tary is starting to suspect things will get weird even if he is in the room.]

If you don't need me around...then that's fine. [Taryon's not all that strong anyway, and he would like to back out of this job if it means the entire responsibility falls on the lovebirds.] But the next time I hear your nicknames for each other, I'm not going to wait until it's over, alright?

Nicknames? ( He frowns, because while Ratio hasn't shied away from chastising him with 'gambler' when he holds out on the other man, it's not one of the names he's been loudly repeating over and over again. Aventurine, of course, but then--

Oh.

One of Aventurine's hands goes to wrap around Ratio's wrist, grip tight. Someone knows his name; he does not blame Veritas for it, because there is nothing more satisfying to Aventurine than to hear Kakavasha said with pleasure and love. But someone knows it, and they don't know what it means, and the good natured smile and ease with which Aventurine carries himself sharpens, frozen on his face as he pushes through the panic. It's fine, he tells himself, because if Taryon thinks it's a nickname that the doctor uses for him then he won't use it himself, and he won't tell anyone it either. )

Understood.

[ Ratio realizes it at around the same time Aventurine does, and his stomach drops. This was why he had initially been hesitant to use Aventurine's true name, but it had slipped out from his desire to imbue that name with memories of love and affection once more.

He feels the hand wrap around his wrist, tense and fearful, and carefully does not react, instead maintaining eye contact with Taryon as he immediately considers damage control. He must be careful here, lest their neighbour figure out more than Aventurine is willing to share. ]

You have our word that it will not happen again, and as an apology for disturbing your rest for so long, you may call on a favour from either of us if you are in need of assistance, no matter how mundane or ridiculous that request may be.

[ First, a mention that any type of request is allowed, to activate the man's imagination and draw it away from the nicknames. Second... ]

...and I would appreciate if you kept everything you've heard to yourself. Despite my egregious oversight on this front, I am a private individual and do not wish for others to know the contents of my personal life. I am tired of the ever present public scrutiny I face back home.

Please.

Edited 2024-07-11 22:49 (UTC)

[Aventurine promptly shuts up, to Taryon's surprise. He had been rather blase about the whole affair, but hearing the specifics - those bedroom pet names that must be in some language from their world - must have alerted him to how little Ratio hid. He doesn't think to look to deeply into that: if he had an embarrassing kink that everyone learned about, he'd be pretty upset.

Ratio's expression, once Taryon looks at him, is just as concerning: rather than the shame from earlier, he looks more serious. It's rather strange, how getting into specifics makes them take it more seriously.]

I won't share any of this. God, I don't want to talk about this with anyone else. [He folds his arms over his chest and shudders.] But I will as a favor of you two in the future. When I need it the most.

[He has to think of something drastic, just to make surviving all that noise worth it.]

( A warmth bursts in Aventurine's chest as Ratio simply knows what has him so on edge -- it isn't Taryon's fault, nor is it Ratio's. The other man has no way of knowing that it's more than a nickname, that his name was left in the dust of his home planet long before Jade told him to discard it, as worthless as his identity was. Aventurine has never let his anger rest with the wrong targets, and therefore there is none in his voice, just a guarded tone that was not there previously.

His hand relaxes around Ratio's wrist, though he does not pull it away completely. )

You'll find that we're quite good at handling anything you might throw at us. In fact, I look forward to the challenge.

( No matter how dangerous or ridiculous it might be. )

[ Though he has Taryon's word, Ratio can't help but feel discontent with the whole situation. This shouldn't have happened in the first place. He should have had his room soundproofed before they started doing anything. It had slipped his mind with the commotion they'd been thrown into upon returning to Neo Tokyo, and then the vacation in Okinawa. He had relaxed too much.

He does not allow any of his upset to show, hyperaware of his partner's presence against his side. ]

As I stated before during our mission abroad, I do not specialize in combat. I would appreciate it if you keep that in mind when you collect on your favour.

[ He shifts and allows his eyes to obviously stray down the hallway of Redemption's quarters; an indication that he'd like to finish the conversation. ]

Is that all you'd like to speak to us about?

I know you would protect me in battle as comrades-in-arm, I won't ask you to rescue me from a monster. [That's not a favor to him, that's how teamwork functions. Taryon's plan is to not ever get into trouble himself.]

Yes, that's all I wanted to bring up. So you'll do something about it, then?

[Taryon has so many things he wants to do today, and this will reduce a lot of his stress at work and with the heatwave.]

( Well there goes Aventurine's first choice, but then again he can't argue against the wisdom of that choice. Too easy, then. That earns a huff of laughter from him, though it is more of a put upon thing than true laughter. )

We will. Don't you worry, friend, you won't hear a peep from us.

[ The soundproofing has been moved to the top of his list in priorities, so it'll be installed by end of the day. Ratio nods in affirmation of Aventurine's words. ]

Then excuse us.

[ He brushes past Taryon, making sure to tug his wrist forward subtly to let Aventurine know that he is to come along. ]

( With a goodbye nod of his head as he's pulled past, Aventurine goes without complaint until they've put enough distance between them and their disgruntled neighbor. )

Soundproofing, huh? Why doctor, I didn't think you'd get that loud!

( He is deftly avoiding the point that he thinks Ratio might want to get to, just look at him go! )

[ Ratio stops only once they've moved into the locker rooms, which is slightly more private than the hallway. He doesn't rise to the bait, his expression still serious as he turns around to look at Aventurine.

Aventurine doesn't want him to apologize, he can tell. He doesn't blame Ratio, even though the scholar should have had the foresight to predict this. Ratio doesn't need to apologize either. It is a blunder that can partially be attributed to the sequence of events, and Aventurine himself could have pointed out the lack of soundproofing as well.

He still feels discontent. ]

Aventurine... I apologize.

[ He shifts the arrangement of their hands so that he's holding onto Aventurine's gently. ]

( Aventurine intertwines his figures with Ratio's, though he spends more time staring at their hands than Ratio until Veritas speaks, and his gaze snaps up to the other man's, narrowed in confusion. )

What-- oh. ( A small, wry smile steals across Aventurine's face. ) Come now, Veritas. It isn't anything that could have been helped.

( Which is to say: he doesn't need to apologize, because there's nothing that needs apologizing for in the first place. Though his grin becomes sharper in an attempt to distract Ratio from his own needless guilt. )

I like hearing you say my name over and over again, at increasing volume.

[ The tease has its effect—a flustered blush colours his ears and cheeks a light pink, and he squeezes Aventurine's hands in retaliation. ]

I— w-well, I still must apologize for my role in this blunder! I am aware I am not fully to blame, but nevertheless, I should have exercised more caution.

[ Because Aventurine is worth that much attention to care, he wants to say, but does not. Maybe another day, when they are settled into this relationship and Ratio has gotten used to being honest. ]

...I do not... intend on changing my behaviour during intercourse, so our only option is to rectify the soundproofing immediately.

( Aventurine reaches out with his free hand to cup Ratio's cheek, pulling him down so that Aventurine can speak against his lips. But his grip on his hand is warm, firm -- he isn't letting Ratio go any time soon. )

We can do that today, if you want. Or tomorrow, if you've got work to do today. I don't want you to stop being loud -- it does wonders for my ego.

[ Ratio sighs softly into his lover's lips. Tension bleeds out of his shoulders as he relishes in the physical contact, even as Aventurine's words elicit a darker flush. ]

Today. I have accounted for unexpected occurrences in my schedule, so it will be no issue.

[ With one more gentle press of lips, he pulls away reluctantly. ]

Let us complete our morning routines first. We have already dawdled for too long.

We wouldn't want to keep the doctor from cleanliness too long, it's true.

( Aventurine laughs, pressing another quick kiss before he separates from the other man to shower. He would be more concerned, more worried about the potential fallout if not for Ratio's solid, comforting presence. And for now, that's all he needs.

All he wants. )

Don’t worry doc, I’m fine!

Edited 2024-08-10 01:42 (UTC)

[ Aventurine is receiving a video call in response shortly after he sends that message. ]

Gambler?? Aventurine, what happened?

( aventurine’s face flickers into view when he answers — clearly outdoors and walking when he very memorably took a train out of seoul. there’s a shallow cut on his jaw and a very recent bruise on his cheek. aventurine himself is giving ratio a cheerful wave even if the other man can’t see it, and the wince as he does so isn’t hidden fast enough for ratio to miss. this is why he texted him! )

Hey, doc! No need to get your toga in a twist, I said I was fine.

You are clearly not unharmed. Explain.

[ Bud, being dodgy isn't going to ease the mind of your lover any time soon. The frown on Ratio's face, instead of being the typical cold displeased one he usually presents to idiots who have annoyed him, is filled with obvious concern. ]

Wait. Why are you not on the train to Busan? It should not have arrived yet.

Yeah, about that. ( aventurine takes the moment to be a pain in ratio's ass, however, because he grins. ) I should worry you more often, Ratio, it's left you with a rather fetching expression.

Gambler.

Something hit the train. Or we hit it, not sure. It could have been worse. Come to think of it, it should have been worse. ( it was knocked sideways off the tracks. and yet they were able to walk right out of that tunnel, no significant debris at all. ) Guess we just got lucky.

[ Train derailment?? ...Aventurine's luck has pulled through once more. There are any number of ways it could have gone much worse. Ratio does not give thanks to the Aeons, but he does perhaps quietly entertain the thought of thanking Aventurine's goddess. ]

You should put distance between yourself and the train, in case something in its power system has ruptured.

[ There's a chance of it exploding, though knowing that insane luck, Aventurine would still walk out of that essentially unscathed. However, when it comes to his lover's life, he does not want to unnecessarily gamble it on luck. ]

Edited 2024-08-10 06:38 (UTC)

Already on it. We’ve made a fair amount of progress — out of the tunnel we derailed in a hour or so ago - but it looks we’re going to be spending a few nights in the wild.

( his least favorite! he likes a comfortable bed and soft sheets and climate control, thank you very much. but he grins at ratio all the same, eager to reassure him that he really is fine and that his partner doesn’t need to fret. )

What about you, anything interesting on your end?

[ Now that Aventurine has confirmed that he is far away from a potential source of danger, Ratio's shoulders sag in relief. He has always worried for Aventurine's safety during their missions, but never has it been so acute or panic inducing. If he'd simply thought for a moment, he would have been able to determine easily that his lover was safe.

...This will be something he has to work on for both of their sakes. He was the one who had to remain calm and rational above all else. ]

It is raining here. Acid rain, to be precise. Strong enough to cause chemical burns from minor exposure, but not enough to compromise the integrity of the city's infrastructure. We've had to evacuate the citizens nonetheless, as it is currently too dangerous to walk around unprotected.

( when it rains it pours, huh? aventurine is grateful for ratio's company as he walks -- it's a good distraction from the multitude of things that can try and kill him that isn't the train crash or the kaiju. )

You think it's related to the kaiju your two groups are supposed to be after?

[ Ratio is more than happy to keep Aventurine company, even though it's only been a few hours since they parted. The benefit of the ocular implant was that their hands weren't occupied by phones, so Aventurine would also see Ratio on the move, his eyes pointed downward as he gathers samples of the acid rain for testing later. ]

Most certainly. The locals I've spoken with say this an unnatural occurrence, and the environment shows no signs of corrosion due to exposure over a lengthy period of time.

You should be cognizant of the possibility that your group will encounter acid rain as well. Be aware of the potential for a landslide if you are in a mountainous region. While it is not particularly heavy rain, the acute acidity may weaken rock layers at a far more rapid rate than what is typically expected from the acidic rain of polluted planets.

Edited 2024-08-11 07:31 (UTC)

It's going to be a little difficult to avoid a mountain right now. But I'll pass it along to the rest of them. For now it's just a bunch of animals trying to take a bite out of us. Well, that and whatever is destroying the villages out here, but I think we know that's the kaiju.

( sure, it's only been a few hours, but aventurine has gotten used to being able to just turn and talk to ratio whenever he has a question. it was always one of his favorite things about working with the other man, and now he'd simply assumed it would be like that whenever they went out for a mission. )

Be careful. Do not hesitate to contact me if there is anything I can provide.

[ Split like this, he cannot physically come to Aventurine's aid. But he has ensured the man is with plied with extra supplies in the form of a compact backpack which should contain everything he needs. The only other thing he can offer is his intellect. Arguably the best thing to have on call though.

What's left unspoken is the request for Aventurine to come back safe to Ratio. It doesn't need to be said. They both know the role they play in this relationship. ]

Will do, Veritas.

( he knows. and while he may not come back in one piece, there is a budding understanding that he has something to come back to at all. that helps.

aventurine mimes blowing a kiss to the camera, winking at the other man. )

Don't miss me too much.

[ Ratio doesn't react, predictably, but there's a twinkle in his eye as he responds. ]

If I told you I'd miss you dearly, and mourn the loss of your presence by my side, would that compel you to stay safe and hurry home? Your warmth and playful disposition have become an irreplaceable part of my life.

[ Instead, he'll flirt back in his own unique way, it seems. ]

( here's the thing: aventurine is used to people lavishing praise on him. he banks on his good looks, his skills, and every other thing he has in order to secure a winning hand. they, too, always want something from him. praise that is for the face he shows him, the mask he wears beneath that, want for whatever they think he holds in his hands. ratio, on the other hand, does not say anything he doesn't mean and does not see the point in unnecessary words.

which is why when ratio speaks, aventurine manages to miss his footing, tripping over a branch and stumbling. he does keep himself upright, but it's a near thing, and his face and ears are tinged a very visible pink. )

When did you get so good at just casually saying something like that, Ratio--

[ At first, Ratio reacts with a sharp burst of concern, but when it's clear that Aventurine only tripped, the concern morphs into humour, and Ratio laughs. It's more of a chuckle, but Ratio has never truly laughed out of amusement in front of Aventurine before they got together. Nowadays, it's easier to pull it out of the scholar. ]

You need not be so eager to give me a physical demonstration of your love for me. I am already aware.

[ Ratio has always had a playful side to him. He's just never had an opportunity to express it until now. ]

( the blush deepens at the laugh, and then he splutters at the words, nearly missing his footing again at the ease with which ratio has both narrowed in on his feelings and exposed them. )

That's-- you can't just-- ( aventurine can recover this. he is the cool one, ratio is the one he should be flustering. ) Isn't this supposed to be the other way around? You're cute when you're blushing--

[ Aventurine's flustering only causes Ratio to laugh harder. He muffles himself with a hand, turning his face away as he attempts to recover, but his shoulders continue to shake for a while. Just give him a minute. ]

As are you, my adorable gambler. The expression on your face presently is far too endearing.

[ He motions with his hand, a tiny gesture that makes it clear that he's recording this little moment. The wide-eyed, dismayed and honest look on his face... He adores it. ]

( he'll give ratio that minute as aventurine tries to recompose himself in return, though he is a little less successful than ratio -- his cheeks and the top of his ears still pink. and he's recording it>? it's a good thing ratio is far too good of a man to use it as blackmail material because someone would pay a pretty amount of credits for it back home. )

You're a cruel man, Ratio.

( but it's not said with any venom, his flush deepening slightly. )

[ It doesn't even occur to him to use the recordings as blackmail; he simply wants to keep memories of his partner close to his heart, just like any other person in love does.

The smile on his face is as broad as it's ever been, and there is a light flush to his cheeks from the laughter. ]

It seems you've unlocked a new side of me, gambler. But fret not, I will show you mercy if you ask politely.

[ Read: he's going to troll the shit out of you in his own particular way, Aventurine. Hope you're ready for it. ]

( he can recover. he can recover!! )

Oh, do you want me to beg, Doctor?

( nailed it. )

[ There is a noticeable pause in whatever it is Ratio is doing, but he resumes activity soon enough, feigning nonchalance as best as he can. ]

Perhaps.

[ And then as if to distract Aventurine from his slip, he abruptly changes the subject. ]

Focus on the mission right now. It would be best to keep the banter to a minimum.

Sure thing, Doc. We can talk about you getting me to beg later.

( Said with a wink, because Aventurine isn't going to let Ratio escape from what he's admitted. )

Alright, alright. I'll see you soon.

[Guess catches sight of this clown-shoes gay disaster moment from where he's trudging along not too far behind.

He raises his voice a little to call ahead, laughter in his tone because the guy caught his balance, it's fiiiiine.]

You alright up there ace?

( urk. )

No need to worry about me!

( he says, waving off dearka in an attempt to be smooth. )

Hah. Alright, if you say so...

[He shrugs, looking unconvinced but also knowing how to take the hint.

And that's it. That's the interaction. You can go back to sexting your boyfriend, Aventurine.]

Doctor, could you please come to the flower shop when you have time for it?

I'm not interested in discussing the bouquet for Aventurine at this moment. There are matters more important that I must handle.

[ There is a bit of a delay till her next reply. ]

The people in Seoul are dead and we would not be allowed to help them even if we could.

Even if not for the bouquet, I would still like to see you.

[ He's busy. He could say no. He's never been deterred by impoliteness, and he doesn't believe Ereshkigal is here to scold him or offer insight for future projects. There's no point in talking to her right now.

... ]

I do not know what you seek from me, but I doubt the conversation will be pleasant for either of us.

It will only be unpleasant if you decide to make it so.

If truly you have no desire to see me, I understand and wish you a good day.

...I am in need of a break anyway. I'll be there in fifteen minutes.

[ He's been neglecting his rest, moreso than he would normally allow himself to. It's not good, the logical part of his brain supplies, and despite the emotions warring within himself, he makes his first good choice of the day and heeds that logic.

It only takes twelve minutes for him to reach Ereshkigal's flower shop. It is a beautiful little store, decorated with a clear eye for style, and pleasant all around to look at.

Nature and greenery have been shown to be positively correlated with mental health, he thinks absently as he enters the store. It's a welcome reprieve from books and words.

To Ereshkigal, Ratio will for the most part appear no different from his usual self, except for a subtle look of fatigue on his face. ]

[ Upon entering, he will find Ereshkigal looking very different from usual. Gone are her usual dark dresses, the capes and elegant attires. No, as she is working, the goddess is instead wearing her gardening attire— black and red overall with flower patterns, a big floppy sun hat and garden gloves.

... Okay, the attire is fashioned to somewhat resemble her usual dress so as to be more fashionable than your average gardening attire. A goddess needs to always look presentable. ]

Oh, you've come...! [She'd been unsure whether he'd actually make it there or find some excuse not to stop by.] It's hard getting you to relax, doctor.

[ Ereshkigal wears the look of a gardener well. There's an irony in seeing a goddess of death nurture life, but it's one that Ratio appreciates. Beings like her seem to understand how precious life is, so there is logic in her appreciation of this job.

He sighs, walking closer to stand within an acceptable distance of her for conversation. ]

Is that what you called me here for? So I could relax?

[ She nods. There's no need to hide it, he's there. And she doesn't think he would be so rude as to walk out on her without a word! ]

And to make the bouquet for Aventurine, of course.

[ She's not giving up on that. But it's not just about that. Ratio is the one who made the post where the debates had occurred. He then cast his own vote in the camp to chase. And she remembers his reaction when she'd called him out on not understanding the human heart...

If she's right about this, he's not as okay as he makes it seem. ]

Difficult times are when humans shine... But it also when they're at their most vulnerable. [She moves behind the counter to take a sheet of paper.] Love is one of the strongest weapon in such times.

[ Oh, she underestimates how rude Ratio can be when he feels it's warranted. Were he not in the mood, he would do exactly that. But as he'd said earlier, he was in need of a break, because he hasn't slept for over twenty four hours and it was starting to take a toll on him.

Ratio's eyes narrow. He isn't someone that needs the reassurance of a loved one to continue moving forward. He's experienced so many failures and weathered them alone, and he intends to do the same this time. He crosses his arms and stands tall, proud and angry. ]

I do not need to be comforted with empty platitudes like a dull-witted fool. There is no time for despair or self-pity. When one encounters failure, they must learn from it and move on. That is what I have always done without assistance. This time will be no different.

[ Don't bring Aventurine into this, Ereshkigal. Ratio does not appreciate it. ]

[ Thankfully, she has zero intention to bring up Aventurine besides the bouquet. Though, his reactions so far are less than encouraging. She'd figured he had to be feeling incredibly down and - while he probably is - he's even more obnoxious and rude than usual. ]

... So this is what you meant by our conversation being unpleasant.

[ He's not even trying. What if she supposed to do...? Guh. She's imagined multiple possible paths their interaction would take, and this is somehow worse than even the bad path she'd imagine so far. ]

You are not invincible, doctor. [Unfortunately for him.] I did not call you for empty platitudes. I was simply hoping...

[ ... To help him? She's not sure what she'd been hoping for any more. She's been pretty badly affected by this and she's been trying to force herself to be better for everyone's sake, but that's just not going to cut it here, huh? ]

[ Yes, this is what he meant about their conversation being unpleasant. He has always been an abrasive individual with strong opinions. How he behaves rarely matches with how people expect the average person to behave. It has never costed him much socially, because he could leverage the eccentricity that people expect with genius. However, that meant that when it came to making genuine connections, it was far more difficult for him than the regular person.

So no, he's not really trying. This is not what he wants from Ereshkigal. He'd prefer her anger over... whatever this is. ]

Hoping that I'd bare my heart to you and reveal sorrow that you could soothe? So you could feel better about yourself after your failure to help Seoul? If so, you've picked the wrong person to use.

[ This might be the opposite of trying, actually. ]

[ Ereshkigal freezes on the spot after what he's just said. That's... She'd invited him to try and help him, even knowing he wouldn't make it easy on her. That much, she had expected.

What she hadn't expected was for him to pick at her insecurities. For him to accuse her. She's aware it's her failing. She'd voted to stay, but it hadn't been enough. She knows as a goddess, she should have found a way to convince everyone. But she didn't. ]

...

[ Ereshkigal remains silent a moment longer, staring absently at the cash register. Is that what she'd been trying to do...? To feel better about herself? Is that why she's contacted him and others? It's true, she doesn't do that usually. But... ]

... The store is closing.

[ Her voice is cold, her tone distant. She turns her back to Ratio and moves some things on a nearby shelf. She utters but one more word: ]

Out.

[ She crumples like a wet paper towel after being called out just once. He scoffs at her, opting to approach instead. ]

And now you wish to wallow in self-pity? For a goddess that claims to serve humanity, your reaction is utterly pathetic. You criticize me for my flaws, yet when confronted by your own, you wilt without resistance. Where is your conviction, goddess? Are you even trying to preserve humanity's future on this planet? Will you cry every time someone dies due to your decision?

[ Is he trying to goad her into anger? Maybe. ]

[ There is a lot she could say here. That she didn't make that decision, for one. That she's been trying as hard as she possibly can ever since the day she's been summoned. That she intends to keep on going, no matter what hardships await. She could say all of those things. But she won't

It gets cold all of a sudden. So very cold, one would be forgiven for thinking winter has suddenly fallen upon Neo Tokyo. ]

I said: out!

[ She turns back to look at him. Though she is obviously teary-eyed, she is also uncharacteristically angry. But more striking of all are her eyes: they shine a golden hue, rather than the usual red. ]

I will not tell you a third time.

[ She didn't, but he thinks she would have cried just the same, if not more, had she been the one to make that decision.

Her anger doesn't scare him. For all that she is angry, he knows she will not hurt him in any way that would permanently harm him. She is a kind, gentle goddess—maybe far too much for this planet's cruel reality. Far too much to handle Ratio, a mere human who has nothing but his words and his brain and tries so hard to help humanity.

He sighs, and turns to leave, but not without one last quip. ]

Our decision to chase the kaiju is not your burden to bear. Do not demean our will and intelligence. Humanity does not need to be coddled by you. We must bear our own failures in order to learn and improve.

Think carefully about what your role should be, goddess.

[ And with that, he departs, his mind clearer and even more determined than before. ]

[ Once more, Yesod thinks of the past, the weight of decisions made and the reach of their consequences. He chooses to speak up again, this time, whether or not it's necessary. ]

Your approach was rational and your reasoning was sound. There was a time when I would have reached the same conclusions, on the basis of similar arguments. In fact, I realize that the alternative that I recommended during the debate was wishful thinking.

I wonder what you intend to do next, as it seems that the tracking technology relied on to pursue the surviving Imugi's trail was insufficient, if it failed to distinguish between a fully-grown entity and its recently-laid eggs.

[ Work talk. He can manage that, though his current instinct is to shy away from all contact with others. ]

That is certainly a matter worth delving into. I have no doubt that we will see more kaiju escape from our grasp in the future. That is an inevitability.

I intend to inquire with LILITH about their research on the Rift, but I will add this matter to my list as well.

I do not believe that this sizable list should become your responsibility alone. LILITH's research and the possibility of improvements that we Outsiders may be able to accomplish are also of interest to me.

This is not something I intend to work on alone, if it can be helped. I would be delighted to receive assistance, especially now that LILITH has proven itself to be unreliable.

How would you like to contribute?

In that case, I am relieved.

You've mentioned that you lack a team to share your workload here. I was a researcher myself once, and I'm familiar with the analysis of data gathered by observing creatures comparable to the kaiju.

[ Oh! Someone who is an actual researcher, and not simply familiar with higher education. Even if he was just as mediocre as most of his colleagues, having someone around to handle the busywork would lighten his workload considerably. And if he's good enough to be trusted with complicated tasks, even better. Ratio immediately perks up, delighted despite his fatigue. ]

Truly? Then perhaps your analyses of the kaiju will offer new insight to LILITH. Let us discuss the details of our collaboration in person, if you are amenable to a meeting.

[ Ratio will send him a map pin on one of the local universities in Neo Tokyo. ]

How does 5 PM sound?

[ Three hours from now. Enough time for him to clean himself up a little and catch a short nap, because he really needs one. ]

I appreciate your invitation.

[ He does, genuinely. Having practical goals to aim for is helpful, particularly now. ]

I will arrive punctually.

[ And true to his word, Yesod makes his way to the university with enough time to confirm where exactly on the grounds Ratio would prefer to meet with him. Just before five o'clock, he appears at the chosen location to approach the man himself. ]

[ Ratio sent the exact location at the end of their conversation, since he would likely be unavailable until their meeting. He had genuinely intended only to take a short nap before Yesod arrived, and had even set an alarm for around fifteen minutes beforehand. However, his exhaustion finally got up to him, rendering him completely unreactive to said alarm.

Which means Yesod is treated to the sight of the scholar sleeping on a nearby couch, completely knocked out. On a nearby table, stacks of books, papers and documents are neatly organized, with one stack set in the center. Perhaps they're the documents Ratio meant to go over with Yesod. ]

[ Ratio's precise directions were certainly appreciated as well, allowing Yesod to refer back to their exchange with ease as he entered the building. It's five o'clock when he sees Ratio himself, albeit in a state that seems best not to disturb. Granted, if it were Yesod in the other man's place, he would find it uncomfortable to sleep in another person's presence, to be confronted with several displeasing realizations upon waking.

Yesod suspects, however, that Dr. Ratio hasn't rested in some time. He leaves the scholar asleep on the couch for now, moving as quietly as he can to glance over the stack of documents on the table instead. These, he has no intention of disturbing, either — he restricts himself to what he can discern without touching any of the material there. ]

[ A closer look at Ratio would confirm Yesod's guess. It's quite clear from the pallor of his skin and the dark bags under his eyes that he hasn't been sleeping well, if at all. Though it'd be easy to guess, because Ratio is quite proud and would never let himself be caught off guard in this manner if he could help it.

On top of the stack is a document regarding the anatomy of the Imugi. The information on the top page is sparse, and judging by how thin the bunching of sheets is for this paper, it doesn't seem Ratio could glean that much from what little time they had with its corpse. It's still hefty though, totaling close to ten sheets of paper. There are more documents below, but without disturbing the pile, there's no way for Yesod to tell what its contents are.

The other documents and books strewn about the table have a little less to do with kaiju. Plans and calculations for a power system that Neo Tokyo can use, information about Earth's oceans, a list of inquiries about Rifts, and more. Ratio has certainly kept himself busy since coming back to base. ]

[ It is tempting, admittedly, to pick up the uppermost document and leaf through the sheets, and then to determine what the papers underneath might contain. On the other hand, that seems no better than examining Ratio himself too closely while he remains asleep. Thus resolved to wait awhile longer, Yesod moves on to the rest of the table — he recalls Ratio's explanation some weeks ago, the scholar's research focused on addressing the power outages.

Once again, there is evidence of that here, among much more. Frankly, if LILITH is reluctant to accept closer collaboration, that seems to their detriment, at this rate. The outcome of the mission in Korea is proof of that.

Pausing, Yesod casts a look over his shoulder, back at the couch. His steps across the floor aren't silent by any means. ]

[ Yesod's noises eventually rouse Ratio from his nap, but it's to a headache and severe drowsiness that he opens his eyes. With a sharp inhale, he moves into a sitting position, trying to stave off the pain of the ache. That nap hadn't done him any favours at all. He feels like utter shit and has so little energy to do anything. But he must persevere.

After a moment of staring at the floor, he realizes there are a pair of legs in his line of sight and looks up to see Yesod glancing over his documents. Ah. He's here already? What time...? ]

Feel free to peruse my drafts if you are curious.

[ He just needs a moment to recuperate. ]

Have you been interrogated yet, Doctor?

Not yet, but I suspect I will be soon.

All right, just giving you a heads up. Because I hear they're using something to make you spit out the truth, and I do hope you know what you're going to answer when your time comes.

They should already be aware that I collect samples from kaiju for research purposes. My actions have no relevance to the smuggling ring they are attempting to trace.

So you... already surrounded the worm sample?

I surrendered it to LILITH once my report was complete. They provided me equipment in response. Clearly, they did not disapprove of my actions. However, they must place me under scrutiny to complete their due diligence, regardless of their belief in my intentions.

Huh, I see. Because I really thought you were going to keep the specimen for yourself.

[ like a mad doctor... ]

I do not have any personal need for it. Its biology fascinates me, as do any potential applications that can be gleaned from its study, but LILITH is the one with the equipment required to fully analyze the creatures, as inconvenient as that may be.

Additionally, they have made it clear that they do not desire Outsiders keep parts of the kaiju for anything other than practical purposes. I do not intend to defy that.

Makes sense. I'm just making sure, is all. And also... to check on you, I guess.

You don't have to tell me how you feel about recent events, Doctor. But know that you aren't alone. Not that the atmosphere inside the base can't get any more obvious.

You needn't concern yourself with me. Regardless of my feelings on the matter, I intend on continuing as I always have.

My primary concern is that the discontent may lead to rebellious actions from certain individuals, which will prompt a response from LILITH, and not likely in the manner we desire. If the gulf between Outsiders and LILITH widens too greatly, our safety will be compromised. At best, LILITH will send the dissidents home and recruit new members, but in the worst case scenario... they've already shown a blatant disregard for our autonomy, both physically and mentally. I needn't elaborate further.

...Unfortunately, I am the wrong person to talk to when it comes to matters like this. Back home, I'm used to being dicked around by the people I work for, and so do the other people I came to this world with. So my experience will greatly clash with people who have not be treated this badly by their superiors.

But I can't deny the rift (lmao) between us and them. I... don't really know how to fix that, so both parties will have to come up with a compromise -- which can be hard, considering that most if not all of us manifested here against our free will...

I suppose it is not my place to tell you that you should desire better treatment.

LILITH either has to capitulate to us of their free will, or we must swallow our anger and bear the mistreatment. We have very little power over them, as much as I loathe to admit it. I do not wish to withhold my assistance in some form of protest. Had they tasked me with projects where the only expectation was profit, I would have been happy to refuse them, but all of my projects involve the lives of the people of this planet. I will not hold lives as hostage even if one may argue that it is justified.

[ As much as he tries to ensure he receives fair compensation for his services, he draws a very hard line at certain points. There is a price to pay for kindness in a cruel world. Here, on this planet, this would be it. ]

It's a nice thought, but no. I really doubt a corporation that cares for its laborers actually exists, so I kept my expectations very low once I settled here.

[ so low that it's barely touched the ground. rip. ]

We do deserve some sort of compensation after everything we've been through. It's just that I don't know what kind. And I might be used to being treated this way at work, but that doesn't mean everyone here does. If LILITH doesn't quell the fire as soon as possible, it'll bloom into something much worse.

Well, at least we share some sentiments. Like I said, you're really better off discussing this with other people. But hearing that you do all those feats for non-profit kind of floored me, Doc. In a good way, of course.

[ money makes the world go round, after all. ]

[ He can't exactly refute that, considering he works for the IPC, a corporation that is quite ruthless in its dealings. That being said, even the employees at the lowest rung had employee rights, as well benefits, however meagre they might be. But it's not because they care, no. It's simply because it's more profitable to provide their employees some measure of comfort. Ratio is lucky in that he's treated as an equal to higher ranked members, despite not being an employee. ]

There is little we can do but wait and see, I'm afraid.

[ For as much as he cares for the people of the world, if LILITH loses the support of the Outsiders due to their own actions, they can only blame themselves. Ratio will continue on with his projects, but he will not lift a finger to soothe the well-deserved discontent of his colleagues. ]

Under normal circumstances, I would do what I can to ensure fair compensation is given to me for my efforts. It would be foolish to work for free in an economy where one requires money to sustain themselves. However, given LILITH's power over us, and my lack of authority, I have little other recourse.

I will see that I receive what I am due once the crisis is over.

[ That is to say, LILITH isn't going to get away with their mistreatment of him after everything is done and dusted. One way or another, he WILL have them pay. A little vindictive? Maybe, but they need to be taught a lesson about forcefully pulling people from their homes and conscripting them into a bloody fight against monsters. ]

[ nothing wrong with a little vindication. it only means that he knows his rights and everyone else's. ishmael's only started to realize her own rights recently, but she's aware that she has a long way to go. ]

Then I hope you'll get your dues as soon as possible. If you can get it, then it'll probably spur the others on.

[ not her, though. she knows better than to challenge an entire organization all on her own. ]

I doubt I'll receive it while I am here by LILITH's will. While they've provided us pay, it is only enough to ensure we can mollify ourselves with trinkets and cheap entertainment, and so they can claim that we are not, in essence, slaves.

[ It's not to say he doesn't understand that the planet is short on resources, and that LILITH's budget is tight, but being far more used to the kind of treatment that comes with being a celebrity at home, this seems almost inhumane in comparison. ]

What I'd prefer to receive right now is trust. Enough to allow me access into their research, so that I can accelerate their progress.

[A day after that fucking mess on the network between Ratio and Godzilla.]

Are you okay?

[ It's not a text message that Bakugo gets back, but a voice message instead. ]

If you have a matter of importance to discuss with me, I would prefer it to be conducted over a voice or video call.

[ There's nothing in that response that indicates he actually read Bakugo's message. ]

[Overreaction. But guess that's understandable.]

Are you dead?

Yes, what you are hearing are recordings I left behind in case someone were to inquire into my whereabouts.

[ Absolutely flat tone, which comes across as sarcastic in this particular instance. ]

What is it you require from me?

[He wouldn't put the former past this guy, so the sarcasm is appreciated.]

You're not hurt, are you?

[Conversely, Bakugo's normally rough tone is quieter. Genuine concern.]

[ Oh, this was a genuine inquiry? He's not sure how he feels to be on the receiving end of such concern. ]

I am unharmed. You needn't concern yourself any further.

[It was from the start. He's giving Ratio a pass since it seems like he didn't get the initial message.]

If you need a place to stay while they repair your room, let me know.

[A bold offer, but the obvious one.]

[ That is... an unexpected offer from the young teen. He didn't think they were close enough for that to be considered, but unfortunately... ]

I'm afraid I must decline, but I appreciate the sentiment.

[ He has someone else to consider as well, and the both of them cannot occupy Bakugo's space. It would feel inappropriate too, given that Bakugo is somewhat of a student to Ratio. However, he decides to offer some information about his situation in lieu of acceptance. ]

I have been informed that repairs will not be complete until well into October, much to my displeasure, but I suppose I only have myself to blame. Nothing of value has been lost, thankfully, but I cannot access a majority of my items as they are stored using my powers, which has been suppressed by LILITH.

[One, he'd room with a friend. He's not offering to share a room with the man. Two, he keeps his room very well and neat, thank you, so has zero qualms about offering it to Ratio for a night.

The response is neither insulting nor surprising.

That said...]

WHAT?! [NOW he's alarmed and pissed.] They shut down your abilities?! How?!

[ Yeah, that's probably the most alarming part about all this. He doesn't blame Bakugo's reaction, but— ]

Volume!

[ This is an audio call, so Bakugo is essentially yelling into his ear. ]

Through the ocular implant, I presume. Just like every previous instance they've exerted their influence over us. I am further convinced the ocular implant plays a key role in maintaining the connection to our origin now.

Ngk-!

[Don't 'volume!' him, dammit! Though the restrained grunt suggests the reprimand works. Ratio's not the first person to have Bakugo shouting in their ear. Even after all these months, he's instinctively expecting his allies to pull a phone away from said ear once he starts yelling.

His tone's lower when he talks next. Sheesh.]

What happened? Did they say anything?

[These fucking bastards! He knew they had some hold on them via the oculars. From sending them to their rooms and locking them in to broadcasting their thoughts unpermitted on the fucking network. But being able to eliminate their abilities?! That's stepping over a line Bakugo's drawn.]

The initial suppression was accompanied by pain. I am unsure if that is an intentional function of the implant or a byproduct of the suppression function. Following that, I was informed by Synthia that a report was made to Commander Shiro, and that I would only be authorized to use my abilities during a kaiju mission. This was applied to all involved in the altercation. There will be an investigation to assign responsibility for the damages, which I presume will end up being garnished from our paychecks.

[ There's a slight hesitation for the next part, but he ultimately decides to be completely transparent about the full extent of his punishment. ]

In addition, they have applied a filter over my vision, preventing me from reading any text.

[ That's why he didn't respond to Bakugo's initial message. ]

[Worse and worse news. This isn't the first time Outsiders have gotten into fights. Hell, the first time Bakugo was trapped in his room (back in January) he almost blew the walls down! Almost, since they refused to be blown down...

What Ratio says makes his blood boil at the same time as ice trails his spine.]

Did they say for how long?

[And no, he's even less pleased to hear the potential repairs will come from his own damn paycheck, if that's the implication.]

[ Ratio sighs, a little despondent. ]

October 5th. Three weeks.

[ That's three whole weeks that Ratio will be unable to conduct any research. He can't even read his own writing, because it gets obscured the moment he finishes writing a letter! It's beyond infuriating. ]

Fucking idiots.

[And they still expect Ratio to fight on the front lines! Though it's unlikely a kaiju will show until the middle of next month...]

Everyone else should know about this.

[ That date was only for his ability to read. His powers would be under lock for far longer, unfortunately. So long as the kaiju didn't unexpectedly attack the base, Ratio would be fine, as he'd have access to his powers during missions.

But being unable to do anything else would be agony. No reading, no researching to prepare himself, no stocking up on supplies in his subspace storage... it leaves him feeling unbalanced and vulnerable. ]

Please keep this to yourself. I am not the only one involved, and I doubt any of us would like our current state to be publicly known.

[ Especially not Aventurine. ]

[Yeah fuck that. How is such a punishment fair?! It's only LILITH hamstringing one of their own fighters, who could be improving on his off time! Powers are like muscles, requiring work and practice to keep in shape. Only having access to them during a fight? That's bullshit.]

It wasn't your fault.

[Yeah, he saw the entire thing. At least the text-based part. The rest he heard.]

I'm not gonna say anything, but the Outsiders should know LILITH can disable their abilities.

[ Ratio sighs, partially in relief, but mostly because he's done some thinking, and acknowledged that he should have been more careful around Outsiders, if only because they are not the same as the researchers and students he regularly berates with his sharp tongue. Not all of them would listen to reason the way those in his academic circle would. ]

You needn't offer me validation. Whether the fault lies with me or another, the result cannot be changed.

[ Bakugo is right, but the question was how to present this information in a manner that wouldn't implicate his and the other two's current state. Additionally, making such an announcement would further stir up distrust against LILITH... that was something that had to be carefully considered as well. ]

Give me some time. I must consult with the other two to decide if such an announcement should be made at this moment. However, you are free to warn your friends.

[Bakugo holds their scaly mutual at most fault for the violence and destruction. Even Ratio's boyfriend's cleared because who the fuck wouldn't instinctively resort to violence if someone broke into their room?! (Well, most people would freak out and then get angry + violent.)

Ratio's comment about the eggs wasn't unfounded either. People who couldn't handle hard truths should shut the hell up and bury themselves back in the pillows. Ratio wasn't ordering them to think like he did. He was cautioning them to a very likely reality.]

Some results could. But that'd require a damn coup.

[No offense, Ratio, but in the past month, LILITH has done plenty to stir up distrust, or at least dissatisfaction, against themselves. What the organization has done right now is crossing a boundary Bakugo's very hard on. He begrudgingly agreed to work with LILITH as a hired mercenary. He refuses to be someone's put-upon slave.]

I'll wait until October 5th. But I have something I want to ask everyone as well. Maybe we should combine them.

[ Shakes fist... mods let us rebel!!! As a treat!!! Alas we cannot so I must pretend Ratio is trying his best not to start a coup because of 'smart reasons'. ]

Given the control they are capable of exerting upon us, starting a coup would not be wise. But that does not mean I am advocating that we simply bear with their offenses forever. We must design a course of action that will bring us the most benefits.

[ He can't blame Bakugo or anyone else for wanting to though. LILITH has committed so many human rights violations that even he is itching to see some retribution paid upon them. But revenge cannot be the driving factor in their actions. If anything is to be done, it must be done rationally. ]

And what would that be?

[But we mustn't! That would end the game! Perhaps bring back the worm and let them rebel against a brainwashing again. Or a shady sector of LILITH that must be expunged... They're still the hand that feeds them, so biting is a problem. Bakugo's ideology as a hero keeps him from rebelling at the moment. But once LILITH proves themselves abusive and the villain, that tolerance will vanish.]

Working with them is the most beneficial right now. But they didn't say shit about their own damn mistakes in Seoul. They blamed us and fucking encouraged us to shame each other! And now they're pissed cause a fight broke out?

[It's completely illogical and shitty leadership. If Commander Shit-o had showed his face in person, Bakugo would've attacked him. As if was, he and Godzilla actually went to blow up the screen, but got promptly knocked out and caged up. Bastards.]

I want to ask how we're gonna proceed going forward if there are multiple threats. Screw what those bastards want. If they want us to separate, we should refuse. After what happened in Seoul, our best bet is staying together when the kaiju are involved.

[Bakugo doesn't intend to be a dictator, but he is a very effective leader, despite his atrocious attitude.]

Our offenses should focus on killing blows as often as possible. And we need to find a damn way to take the fight to the kaiju. Every fucking time, they attack the city and we know they're going to!

[Flooding the bay to make hunting food easier. Invading Disney to siphon off electricity. Luring out civilians to turn them into aggressive incubators. And... whatever the fuck the dragons were after in Seoul. Each time the kaiju came looking for something. If they can pinpoint it, they should be able to lure the beasts away from the city, or lead a preemptive attack to cut down on all the collateral damage and casualties.]

Word has gotten out that you experienced a surprise home remodeling. Are you and that pretty blonde of yours unharmed, Ratio-kun?

[ She sounds way too amused by this... ]

Dispense with the false display of concern. What do you want?

False? How cold. Anyone would be concerned after seeing you two bumming around the base.

[ Kaga. stop. ]

Was that the first time one of the others came after your head? You should really be more careful, Ratio-kun. Not everyone can appreciate the manner you have.

[ Tch. Has she been observing them? It's already annoying enough that they've had to resort to sleeping in shared spaces, but he's definitely going to look into booking a hotel room after this, inability to read and Aventurine being cut off from his money be damned. ]

It's Doctor Ratio to you. Do not address me so casually.

[ A futile attempt to correct her, he's certain, but he can at least say he's tried. ]

Your advice is undesired. If you've nothing further to say, make yourself scarce.

Tsk tsk. So rude, Veritas-chan. With the ice you're on being so thin you're really going to talk to an ally who's in good standing like this?

[ A long, exaggerated sigh. ]

Your poor partner must always be worried sick about you, always running your mouth off like that. I feel sorry for him.

[ He should have known warning her would make it worse. He's going to ignore her the next name she calls out to him using his first name. ]

Enough with the pretense. I have no desire to entertain your attempts to humiliate me. Refrain from contacting me unless you have something of substance to speak about.

[ Unless Kaga has something worth talking about, he won't respond to her subsequent messages. ]

[ Kaga doesn't answer back over the network. However a few minutes later Ratio can hear the sound of a small propeller approaching.

There's a little rc sized replica of a zero fighter plane heading his way, flanked by a blue paper shikigami in the vague shape of a bird. The plane takes up a circling holding pattern a few feet above Ratio's head whilst the paper construct comes to a stop in front of his face.

It has a message for him! Delivered in Kaga's voice ]

I just could not sleep at night knowing you're off without someone watching out for you, so I took the liberty of sending you an escort while you are on base. Consider it a gesture of good will, Veritas-chan.

I'll be watching closely~

[ Message delivered the paper construct bursts into blue flame and incinerates into nothingness. The plane is still there. Still buzzing.

She's such a caring friend... ]

This isn't the first time I've woken up somewhere vastly different than where I went to sleep, alone and stripped, but I'd have hoped you'd have stuck around for the fun part, Doc!

C'mon, Ratio, it's not like you to leave me hanging. Especially since I don't think anyone here can get out.

No one can get in or out, so I'm going to guess that accounts for these messages, too. But just in case--

Take care of yourself, Veritas. I'll get out of here in one piece if you do.

You know it's probably a good thing you're not stuck here with me, the amount of idiocy concentrated in this castle would be overwhelming. They're doing their best, whatever that amounts to, but everyone seems content to run around with their heads cut off.

We can't even agree on what, exactly, we're facing. A kaiju, but everyone has their own opinions about it. In case you get this while we're still trapped, here's what I've managed to put together. I don't particularly agree with some of the conclusions drawn by others, so if you get anything different from anyone else, you'll know that I couldn't help but put my two credits in where it counts.

1. There are two different entities at work here, though I'm not sure which one currently has the most power. There's a canine related one that seems to be the one the villagers are on the side of, and if I had to hazard a guess I'd say that maybe that one isn't actually a kaiju but something else (but it could well be, as breaking the skulls gives off the same feeling as Rift sickness). The other is referred to as Chiroptera. It figures that the spooky castle would have a bat kaiju, don't you think?
2. Most likely a deal was struck with the canine to protect against the bat. It requires sacrifices, so I'll leave you to guess who's up to bat (haha!) this year. Be careful trying to get us back -- either the canine or the bat might take offence to the disruption of things.
3. There were a few people who tried to escape before, though I'm not sure how long ago it was. I think the people here were punished after a 'failure', likely because at least one of the previous 'Chosen' managed to escape. That 'escape' might have been escaping the specific fate, not death.
4. Purple flowers protect against the Lord of the Forest somehow. Whatever flower it is, I'd bet it's poisonous.
5. Given the amount of bones and skulls of a canine around, I'm wondering if it died somehow and the desperation is born from the desire to revive it/continue using what meager power remains. I found some portraits that featured the dog before it vanished in them -- might have been around the time of the failure? Not sure.

That's all on my end, Doc.

Edited 2024-10-08 20:36 (UTC)

Well not everything. I'm bored out of my mind here, Ratio. Do you think the cats are doing alright? It occurs to me that they might need a bit of stimulation and enrichment if it doesn't clash with your design style once the room is back. I've seen those fancy cat playgrounds mounted on walls advertised on Pier Point -- we could build something like that.

The Astral Express' resident exiled High Elder is obnoxiously stubborn. I can see now why you get along with him.

Nights aren't the same without you around. There's no one I have to tease to turn off the light and stop reading, for one. Or kick awake in the middle of it. On accident, of course!

If my luck somehow runs out and they do end up sacrificing me, say something nice at my memorial service, won't you? That I looked pretty and was a great lay and my ghost is going to haunt this castle until you drag it back to a body you've made from scratch, having entered your mad scientist era just for little old me.

Ha. This planet is one novel experience after another.

The shackles aren't new, but the cutting into my flesh is. They didn't take me pointing that out very well, though.

Fuck.

Hah. If this is what being lucky counts for right now, I'd hate to see the other guys.

When you get here, and knowing you and that big brain of yours you're already mostly got this all figured out, don't worry about me.

Hey Doc? Why do you think they'd want my blood and my hair? I mean, besides the fact my hair is very enviable.

You know, you'd think I'd have learned my lesson about talking back by now. Never learned the first time around, though, so why should I start now?

Shame they won't shatter my wrists and hands, that's the best way to get out of shackles. You'd think my luck would at least make them break the bones where it's helpful.

Who would have known that I didn't need my legs, eh Doc? Guess you'll just have to carry me everywhere now.

( the last text, though ratio won't know that it is, comes quite a long time after the rest. almost as if he didn't mean to send it at all. )

veritas
it hurts

[ He reads every single text that comes through delayed, but it isn't until this one that he breaks. If, on his next break, he holds onto Aventurine's hand tightly and keeps healing him despite the time being meant for his rest, well...

He can't help it. He knows he cannot protect Aventurine from every wound he suffers, and the torment that will inevitably come his way, but here, at least here, he can heal him and make sure he is whole and healthy again. ]

Veritas-chan.

Been trying to keep an eye out for your partner. He's been quite unsocial of course, hostile even. You two are a good pair.

Haven't seen him since he was taken but don't worry. Akagi-nee-sama says he'll be fine. Everyone will be. She says you two lovebirds will be together again before long. Thought you'd like to know!

Have to go now. Still much to do.

❗️❗️❗️NOT DELIVERED❗️❗️❗️

Dr. Ratio

Are you alright? I appreciate your ability to stand up to Mr. Godzilla so candidly. I'm not...adept at verbal confrontations. So thank you for defending the children, being their voice where they had none. [Dan Heng didn't have that when clapped in chains so soon after birth. He was never heard as a child. So Ratio speaking up for them is...well. He wants to support him.]

Please, if you need backup in a combat sense, you have my spear. Call on me at any time. Mr. Godzilla is acting irrationally, and I do not want you to come to harm.

[((Basically sending this here because I do NOT wanna make that thread messier than it ALREADY IS....))]

Your assistance is appreciated. For now, you may stay where you are. If this escalates past my expectations, LILITH will interfere before anything drastic and irreversible happens.

I see. Understood.

[On the night of the 24th, Yato dons a borrowed Santa suit and starts making the rounds throughout the LILITH base, toting a large sack full of goodies for those he knows best. Instead of leaving presents outside of rooms where they might get snatched or messed with, he opts to teleport into the rooms of his friends in order to leave a little something on their desk: a carefully wrapped present in blue duck print paper and several spiky red bows. Inside he'll find a rubber ducky with a scarf and crown and a note saying "look out your window." Which if he does so will lead him to the sight of an inflatable rideable-sized rubber duck sitting out in the snow. Not the weather for it, but hey, summer shall come again!

Also included is a note:

Hi Doc, happy holidays and all that! I know this gift is a bit silly and not very intellectual, but given how much of a smart cookie you are I found it hard to guess what might entertain you. So instead I thought maybe you wouldn't mind a little something to add to your collection. I've gotten Hiyori her own rubber duck to talk to in between treating patients, so the duck horde continues to spread! Take it easy, okay?

~ Yato]

[ it's morning. it's christmas time. guess what? you have a present from

~SANTAYORI~

but she's not around. er, wait, she's scampering off down the hall to her next victim, I MEAN good little boy or girl or nonbinary.

upon opening said gift!!

a bathrobe, fluffy and comfortable and warm!! in a pinch. with his name sewed into the chest pocket: "Dr V. Ratio"

then, a bottle of some fancy wine decorated with a red bow, two delicate wine glasses, and these stoppers. and a tin of cookies, homemade.

Dr. Ratio,

Happy Holidays! Find a moment to relax today, okay? With a loved one, most especially. 'Tis the season to show gratitude to those we care about.

Best wishes,
Hiyori ]

Edited (lmfao i'm sorry i'im a mess!!!) 2024-12-22 03:12 (UTC)

[ The early morning of the 25th there's no sound of sleigh bells, instead there's the sound of rotors humming in the halls of the base. Why wonder around the base with a sack and a ridiculous outfit when Kaga can just send out her little helicopters to do the job, using their rescue winches to transport the packages to their recipients.

For Ratio purple wrapping paper with golden ribbon, containing;
One (1) bottle of good sake
Three (3) large candles that are somehow the kind he'd like, perfect for a night spent in relaxing or for a long soak in the bath!
One (1) handmade strawberry shortcake... shaped like a rubber duck.

And a note! Penned in the exact kind of handwriting you'd probably expect from a perfectionist warrior. IE, almost unnaturally nice. ]

Ratio-sensei,

Thank you for everything these past months. After what happened the week of my arrival I would never have expected the most support to come from you of all people. You're a brilliant man, I look forward to working together more in the future.

Enjoy what's left of the holidays,

Kaga.

[ A wrapped package can be found at Ratio's door after the Christmas Party. Unwrapping it reveals tickets for a weekend at one of Neo Tokyo's most luxurious hotel. She was going to gift him a rubber duck at first, but she gets the feeling that may be redundant...

There is a message with the gift, written on a Christmas postcard: ]

Dear Veritas,

You desperately need vacations and as you won't take them yourself, they are now forced upon you! The hotel stay includes a manicure, massages and the likes. You can bring someone with you, which I assume will be Aventurine so I already put his name on the second ticket.

Merry Christmas!
-- Ereshkigal, Goddess of Death and Queen of Kûr

[ On Christmas morning, Ratio will find a wrapped present by his door. Right next to Aventurine's, in fact! The card on the top reads:

Bundle up!

- Yor

Inside the box is an adult onesie designed to look like an owl. ]

[ Left on Ratio's doorstep is a small box, wrapped up in pink wrapping paper.

Inside is a really simple gift: a pair of rubber ducks, alongside a note:

Ratio-san,

Sorry, for all the trouble. I was meant to give you these before, but a lot of things happened and I messed it up. I hope you can forgive me for giving you them late. Have a really good new year, okay?

Sorry
Yuji. ]

Edited 2024-12-23 11:44 (UTC)

[ Dr. Ratio receives a neatly-wrapped package, labeled For Dr. Ratio, from Yesod, containing a set of purple bath towels. Yesod has also taken care to check that none of the items waiting outside Ratio's door risk creating a mess and becoming a tripping hazard. ]

[ On Christmas morning, there will be an elegantly wrapped package waiting, along with a festive card. ]

Dr. Ratio,

As the Christmas season graces us with its quiet beauty, I take this opportunity to extend to you my warmest wishes for a holiday filled with peace, joy, and the company of those you hold dear. May the New Year bring you health, happiness, and all manner of good fortune.

With kindest regards,
Sebastian Michaelis

[ Inside the package is an assortment of fine and extremely delicious baked goods--all made by Sebastian himself, naturally. ]

[There is a small box wrapped in paper made to mimic the starry night sky. Or a galaxy. It’s set in front of your door, whenever you may pass through. Inside is what appears to be a. Well. This. Galaxy themed rubber duck. The theme matches the trailblazer who’s home is the stars, but the duck…maybe he just caught on from the username. There are also very small cat rubber ducks?? Which generally look like Ratio and Aventurine’s cats…and also a duck themed cat toy.

There’s also a small note written in very careful, meticulous calligraphy.]

Happy winter holidays, Doctor Ratio.

I meant to have this delivered earlier, but I seem to have lost track of time. ((read: winter keeps knocking him out and IRL holidays were insanely busy)) I wasn’t sure which of these you’d like most, so I’m just sending all of them.

- Dan Heng

[Maybe the only person who works harder on this base besides Raidou is Ratio. Because of that, Raidou doesn't want to interrupt him when he's in his room, or the library, or anywhere else he might be in the middle of something. The last thing Raidou wants, in his mind, is to annoy the doctor further. He hasn't even spoken to him much ever since his accidental attack, assuming his presence wouldn't be wanted.

So, Raidou catches him while he's on the move in the base somewhere, waiting to spot him in a hall, leaving the cafeteria, something to that effect.]

... Ratio-san. May I have a moment?

[ It hasn't escaped Ratio's attention that Raidou was avoiding him. After that last disastrous encounter, he figured the young man was too ashamed of himself to show his face to the scholar. It didn't bother Ratio either way, as he was not angry with him, and he was far too busy trying to manage the orphanage anyway (why did LILITH keep sending away its primary supporters? Did they actually want those children to die????)

So it's a surprise when Raidou approaches him after lunch of his own volition. He almost walks right past him, but the young man calls out to him and he stops. ]

What do you need?

[In typical fashion, Raidou hesitates for just a moment, no doubt putting the words he wants to speak together first. He bows slightly first, a gesture of apology he maintains as he talks.]

I wanted to apologize for you needing to interfere. Between myself and Godzilla. I let his threats and taunts get under my skin, a-and...

[Well. Ratio saw the result.]

I'm sure you don't care to hear it. But I wanted to apologize anyway.

[ Ratio stares at Raidou for a moment, and then sighs, folding his arms across his chest in an exasperated manner. ]

It is not that I dislike apologies when I am due one. If I accepted your apology every time, would you think any further of your own actions? Would you reflect upon yourself?

Most would not.

[ He shakes his head with another sigh, and then beckons Raidou. ]

Come.

[ Without waiting for a response, Ratio sets off at a measured pace. ]

[Raidou isn't in the habit of saying things he doesn't mean, and almost says as much, but doesn't. Even if that is true.

He doesn't like being this way. He wants to be different. But everything weighing on him only makes it harder to do.

Before he can come up with anything to say, Ratio takes off down the hall. There's a moment of hesitation before Ratio can hear the footsteps following him.]

[ They walk in silence for a few moments, further away from the cafeteria, before Ratio speaks up again. ]

Tell me: do you believe you've grown or regressed since your arrival on this planet?

[ Perhaps not the question Raidou expected Ratio to ask, but humour the scholar. Or don't. ]

[A moment of quiet as Raidou thinks on that and formulates an answer.]

... I'm not sure. Is both possible?

[Progressed in some areas, regressed in others. He's never had much of a chance to process or talk about the things that happened to him right before he arrived in Neo Tokyo, let alone everything since. It adds up. Blame it on his upbringing, perhaps. Being a summoner is difficult, and you need to deal with it and move on.

Easier said than done, of course.]

There's been... good and bad, together.

[ Not a bad answer. Ratio's lips curl upwards a tad—an expression not quite visible to Raidou since the scholar isn't looking at him. ]

Yes, certainly. We are not such simple creatures that all aspects of ourselves move in unison at all times.

Then: what of you has grown, and what has regressed?

[ He doesn't expect Raidou to answer candidly, but it'll be up to the young man to set his boundaries. ]

[It is a little tough for him to answer out loud. Things like this are embarrassing for any teenager to admit, since the biggest growth answers are "made friends" and "have been dating someone".

There's a quiet noise of thought from him.]

... My life is different here in most ways then back home. I suppose the biggest difference is... needing to work with so many others. On a team. Protecting people was always my goal as a summoner, but I mostly worked alone. It's been... an adjustment, having so many others around all the time.

[ Hm. Not quite the answer he was looking for. ]

And? Do you believe you've successfully learned to work with others? Or are you struggling with other aspects of cooperation and teamwork?

[ That is to say, comparing himself and his achievements against others? ]

[He'll get there. Introspection isn't his strong suit.]

It... is a struggle, yes. Working on a team. Living in this world. Dealing with these missions.

[Another quiet moment, as feelings well up that he attempts to tamp down. To find a way to express it without sounding weak to his own ears.]

When I was a summoner, I dealt with with several existential threats to the Capital. To Japan. They were not easy, but I persevered, right up until I arrived here. When I finally lost.

[Raidou already feels like he's going on too long, at someone who might not even care to hear it. He doesn't want to make excuses for his behavior. But that loss, with all the other losses the Outsiders experienced on top of it, make them all feel like personal failures.]

I'm just... trying to continue persevering. Despite that. I don't think it's working, but I'm not giving up. Not yet.

[ They're getting closer to the source of what ails Raidou, he thinks. But it'll take a lot more digging to truly bring it out.

While they've been talking, Ratio had led Raidou through the less used hallways of the base. Once they reach the deeper end of the greenhouse, where hardly anyone ever comes, he heads towards one of the benches placed in the area and sits down, beckoning the young summoner to join him. ]

Why do you persist with the same strategy if you believe it isn't working?

[ Asked in a neutral tone, devoid of judgement. Ratio looks at Raidou, but it isn't with the sharp, critical gaze he normally has. It is softer, as if he's trying to appear unintimidating. ]

[That look surprises Raidou a little, and he joins on the bench after a moment.

Ratio's obviously asked something Raidou's not considered, from the pause that's even longer than normal.]

...I... What else am I supposed to do.

[He really doesn't have a good answer to that.]

There are people here worth fighting for. Worth helping. They're counting on us.

[ Ratio tuts, a small noise of disapproval as Raidou misses what the scholar is trying to get at. ]

That is your desire, your goal. That is not your strategy.

To help people, what is it that you are doing? Something in the process of realizing your wish is going wrong, is it not?

A-Ah...

[A moment of thought comes with the unsure motions; a shake of the head and the shrugging of shoulders.]

I don't... have one. Back home, I investigated cases that usually led to demon involvement. Sometimes that lead to a battle, sometimes not. It's one thing that isn't so different about working for LILITH. But instead, in the face of the kaiju, we've been failing.

[The heart of Las Vegas collapsing to a kaiju attack. Thousands upon thousands of victims of the imugi in Seoul. Destroying an entire village in Romania. Raidou thinks about them constantly.]

I want to keep the people here safe. Outsiders, too. I don't-- want to do what I did to you to happen ever again.

[ He figured this was the cause of Raidou's turmoil. His guilt over the lives lost, and his inability to handle that. From the looks of it, the failure he's facing here is magnitudes greater than anything he's ever faced before. Otherwise, he would be much calmer, like Ratio, who already has the blood of trillions on his hands for his involvement in the creation of an anti-planetary weapon. ]

Do you believe there is any version of you that could have altered what has happened? If you were stronger, faster, better at combat, or more persuasive... what would have changed?

[ He's not one to indulge in what-ifs, but there's a point to this question. ]

[Raidou looks at him for just a moment, as if Ratio just asked the most obvious question in the world.]

Of course. If I were strong or smarter or-- whatever was needed, then I could be more of a help.

I got the upgrade surgeries for this very reason. They've made it so that I can do more, carry my own weight better. [He shakes his head lightly.] I would rather not get any others, if I don't need to, though.

[ It sounds like an obvious question, yes, but... ]

How much? How many people do you think you would have saved with these upgrades?

Even if it allowed me to only save one more person, then it was entirely worth it.

[This is one question answered without a moment of hesitation.]

[ There's a fundamental difference in the way they think, Ratio realizes. Perhaps it is a flaw of his, but as they've had this conversation, Ratio had been thinking in terms of hundreds and thousands of lives. But Raidou? He's focused on every single person in front of him.

It isn't that Ratio doesn't care for the individual person; far from it, but his work's repercussions are usually quantified in tens, hundreds of thousands, even millions of people, and are slow progressing, far-future effects rather than immediate. He is used to scale—and perhaps it is the mismatch of these scales that causes Raidou distress.

Ratio is silent for a moment as he ponders how best to phrase his words. ]

Perhaps you could have saved one more person. Maybe even ten. What of a hundred, or a thousand? From what I've observed, you seem to be allowing the weight of all the lives lost overwhelm you.

[That's a harder one to answer. Ratio's completely right on that.]

I... I can only do so much myself. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prevent things like that from happening again.

Then understand that all of our recent failures are a shared burden. Though the guilt is no less heavy, you must realize the limits to your capabilities. Understand them, but work to surpass them.

You will no doubt continue to encounter failure after failure. That is simply life. [ Even he has encountered failure, and some failures were far more costly than any one person should bear. ] But the difference between those who go on to accomplish great things lies in how they handle those failures.

Will you let your failures crush you?

[Often, Ratio gives Raidou the vibes of a Kuzunoha clan elder, from how he speaks and carries himself, to his breadth of knowledge. The lesson he's giving now, though, is a very un-Kuzunoha-like one.]

As a summoner, failure is not an option. Your failure means the cost of other's lives and safety.

[Raidou can't even help but look a little guilty, even now, as he tries to remain sitting straight and maintaining his stoic air. He debates internally for a few moments before deciding to elaborate, just a little.]

... I failed in my mission right before I arrived home. If I somehow survived the incident... at best, my clan will strip me of my title. At worst, execution.

It is a possibility. One that cannot be reduced to zero. We do not live in a world where you can control every variable or factor that could affect an outcome.

[ He doesn't deal with death as closely as Raidou does, but his work often saves lives. And sometimes, it destroys them as well. He's lucky, in a sense, that he usually never has to face the consequences of his failures personally—that is, until now, on this planet. It had not been an easy process, to see the devastation first hand and deal with the guilt that came with it. ]

Hmph. Fools are so eager to rid themselves of a subordinate after one failure.

[ That's the only comment he can make without trying to dictate how Raidou should feel about his situation. The scholar looks at the young summoner, expression solemn. ]

So long as you live, you will always have a myriad of options to choose from, whether or not you recognize their existence. I implore you think carefully about your situation, and what it is you desire for yourself.

I know. But with the scale of our failures here... I can't help but to want to do more. I don't want more to suffer because of our mistakes.

[Raidou shakes his head lightly.]

One mistake that has possibly cost hundreds or thousands of lives in my city. Were LILITH to return me home, and I am still alive there, I will face whatever punishment my clan hands down to me. I understood the weight of my title when I earned it.

[But Raidou doesn't want to go home. His chance of survival seemed slim. It's not that he's scared of dying, it's that he's been given a second chance that no one usually gets. Something he didn't earn, like a gift. He doesn't want to squander it.

This whole while, Raidou's eyes have been glued to the floor, but they shift now in Ratio's direction.

What he desires? It's never been about him.

He nods, almost imperceptibly.]

I will. Though I'm not sure how one could ever figure that out.

[ Raidou's disregard for himself is too strongly engrained for Ratio to uproot easily. He sighs and shakes his head, brows furrowing in exasperation. ]

Well? Have you managed to accomplish more by pushing yourself to the point of delirium?

[Ouch. He looks away again, frowning slightly.]

... No.

I never wanted things to get so-- so bad.

[There's no other way to put it than "bad". Continuing to try and dodge the matter is only going to make things worse.]

I just want to help others. A-And I know, if I push myself too far, I won't be in any shape to help anyone. I've heard it before.

[Spoken in an exasperated, exhausted way, not bitter.]

I just-- can't fix it overnight. I know it might not seem like it, but I am trying.

Assaulting me is the very opposite of helping.

[ Said drily, but not accusingly. What Ratio wants to point out is that Raidou's desperation and overexertion is doing harm, not doing nothing. He isn't helping, he's making things worse. This isn't a net zero gain, this is a negative. ]

Are you going to keep telling yourself that you're trying when you aren't?

[ If he was truly trying, he would set aside his pride and ask for help. He would stop worrying about what others think, and focus on finding the best way to achieve the goal he desires. ]

[Raidou can't help but feel that one as another barb, though. And before he can even think of what to say, Ratio's other comment makes his head snap right back up to him, a puzzled look that's a little hurt, too.]

What do you-- I am trying, it's--

[He doesn't know what to say. More breaks, stop overexerting yourself, that's what everyone keep saying, right? He actually has been taking more breaks, getting others to help with the work in Okinawa so he has less on his plate. Baby steps, but steps nonetheless.

There isn't a lot of fight in those words, though, like there might have been in the past if accused of this again. He's trying, but he's tired, he's in need of help that he doesn't know he needs. That makes it even harder to ask for when you already have a pile of pride in the way.

Shoulders tense, he rubs a hand down his face. Thinking of how to put his words together. If he's not doing enough now, is anything going to be enough?]

I refuse to quit. But I don't want things like that happening again. I will fix it, or I will no longer be fit to be an Outsider. I-I won't fail this as I have a summoner.

[There's resolve in his voice, but it wavers as he goes on.]

[ It's what everyone has been saying, Ratio included, but it's clear that it's not working. That Raidou hasn't really considered what's truly being asked of him when people tell him to rest. He hasn't thought things through. Hasn't thought about why he's struggling, and why others aren't. He doesn't yet know how to shoulder the burden he's been given here. He can't even confidently announce his intentions.

What the young man needs is for his mind to be cleansed of distracting thoughts. ]

Have you used the public baths in the spa? I invite you to join me for a soak.

[ The tone of his voice indicates that he means right now, but it isn't a command. It's just an invitation, but there's clearly a reason the scholar has brought this up out of the blue. ]

[The swerve in conversation earns Ratio another slightly puzzled look.]

Ah... a couple of times.

[It's a nice facility, but he has different priorities.]

... When I have the time, we go to the onsen outside of town. Or I go just visit the cats.

[Admitted a little sheepishly.]

[ Ratio stands abruptly, taking a few steps forward before turning to face Raidou. ]

Come. Let us cleanse our minds and bodies of the filth that persists.

[ This time it is said in a commanding tone, but it is just soft enough to give Raidou room to reject the invitation now that it's been made clearly. ]

( without preamble, ratio will receive the following text: )

Hey Doc, there's no type of whale in our world that just goes by Whale and turns people into mermaids, right?

[ It's almost cute how concerned Aventurine sounds about the possibility of such a creature existing, as if nature isn't more horrifying even without the meddling of the Aeons. ]

Not that I am aware of, but there are certainly types of parasites that can morph a humanoid into other forms, a typically excruciating process for the host.

For instance, there is a species of parasitic ant that invades humanoids and transforms their outer appearance into that of a tree. They are still capable of walking, talking and consuming sustenance, but their nervous system is hijacked by the queen ant and special worker ants who control the host body with her.

I'm never leaving Pier Point ever again

Don't want to hear of more parasites you should avoid?

What I'm going to do is be very glad the IPC regularly sends me to cities and space stations. And avoid the ocean on any planet at all costs.

Did we not have an enjoyable time at the beach on this planet, which is rife with creatures and vegetation tainted by Rift energy?

Hm. Is that movement I feel under my skin?

Ratio.

We did have a delightful time, though, I do have to give you that. I just wasn't aware of what sort of things liked to be in that water

But now is not the time for jokes, Doc

[ Ah... Did he push it too far? It always happens when he jests... He needs more practice, although where he's going to get that practice... ]

I did not mean to frighten you, my dear. If it eases your mind, I have already researched what natural elements of this planet could endanger us. You will be happy to know that there are no such horrifying parasites here, only worms and Protozoa.

Oh thank the Goddess.

But I don't mind it when you're joking, Doc. Reminds me you're as human as the rest of us. Though if you're looking to make amends I could use a nice half hour nap wrapped up in my dear doctor's arms.

You've been quite indulgent as of late.

[ Back home, Aventurine would never think of simply spending half an hour in Ratio's arms doing nothing else. It's bittersweet, in a way, that both of them have gotten the chance to experience the simplicities of a relationship due to their kidnapping to this planet. ]

Are you complaining?

( he's storing it up so that when they have to return to their normal lives he'll have this to fall back onto. )

Far from it.

[ He can't bring himself to vocalize his wish that they continue doing this even when they return home. Both of them are busy men. Neither will have time for these little indulgences. And yet he has never wanted something more in his entire life. Even more than when he wanted Nous' gaze as a youth.

It doesn't have to be this way. For the future he desires—a future he hopes Aventurine also desires—he cannot leave anything to chance. ]

I will return to our room in ten minutes.

I'll meet you there. The cats will be happy to see you, too. Maybe we can get them to come lie on the bed with us this time

It will be suffocating with all of you on the bed.

[ There isn't much space in the room after all. Each of them are designed to house only one person, so suffice to say they couldn't fit a king sized bed in there.

That being said, Ratio's complaining is only superficial—Aventurine would know the scholar adores the kitties despite his unwillingness to openly love on them. ]

We can all fit with enough effort, doc

( he knows. and he knows they love ratio, too. so cuddle pile it is. he will, in fact, be telling the cats that their 'dad' will be returning soon as he picks them up and places them on the bed. )

[ A few minutes later, without a further response in text, Ratio enters his room, expecting to see his lover already sprawled out on the bed with the cats.

It's a little weird, to interrupt the work day for something as insignificant and mundane as, well, cuddling. Almost scandalous, even, that he'd use his valuable time, better reserved for research and seeking solutions and helping people—for himself.

So he finds himself standing awkwardly at the doorway, observing how differently his room looks in the daylight—a time in which he is normally not present. ]

( Aventurine pats the bed, gesturing to the spot he's left for Ratio in between Aventurine and the cats. )

Come on in, Doc.

[ He finally moves when Aventurine invites him to. Gingerly, he steps forward and takes a seat at the edge of the bed. ]

You look quite comfortable.

I could be more comfortable if my favorite Doctor decided to join us.

( aka why are you sitting on the edge and not in bed, with the cats and aventurine. do you not care for your children, ratio. children and aventurine, that is. )

[ With a small huff of amusement, he removes the outer adornments of his outfit and peels off the sashes that decorate him before laying down next to Aventurine and the cats and scooting closer to bring his lover into his arms. ]

Better?

Yep!

( he says, popping the 'p' very obnoxiously before willingly curling up against ratio's side, throwing an arm and a leg over him to latch onto him. this is nice, and the cats rearrange themselves around them -- sleeping on their favorite human of choice or down by their feet. )

This is nice.

[ Ratio curls into Aventurine's body when he presses close, entangling their limbs together. The room is bright, lit by the false window set to match the day's cycle, but... it's nice. To simply stop for a moment and enjoy the present. To feel Aventurine's body press close against him, the floral smell lingering in his hair, and the weight of the cats who refuse to understand the concept of personal space.

Ratio closes his eyes and simply feels. ]

Agreed. I would not mind such interruptions every once in a while.

Don't worry, Doc. We can make sure that we pencil in a break in your schedule every so often.

( It's not lost on him that Ratio is the one with the busier schedule here, and that Aventurine fills his time gambling, exploring the city, getting himself into dangerous situations and then out of them in order to keep himself busy. And just lounging around looking delectable and seductive whenever in Ratio's presence.

So really, it's Ratio they have to work on to have more at this. )

Mm.

[ Ratio presses his face into Aventurine's nape, breathing in the gambler's unique scent—a mix of expensive, high quality cologne (though unfortunately not the same as the one he typically uses back home, which Ratio misses) and his own personal notes, which have always reminded the scholar of the sun and dry climates.

...ah, wait, he shouldn't fall asleep in the middle of the day. He blinks his eyes open and withdraws a little to stare at the ceiling of the room. ]

...ten more minutes. Then I must return to the lab.

Inbox (Synflux)

text, @vessel

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text; @CURSE - 06/10/78

Text, @rubber ducky

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@duelwield

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🎀

text - during travel log #2; @poker

> Video

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